Soothing a crying baby, changing millions of diapers, waking up at all hours of the night - all of those things I felt like I knew what to expect. But potty training pretty much terrified me and sounded like the worst.
Was it? ...Okay, yeah, maybe for a day or two.
Not long after my son turned two, he was always asking to "go potty" and "use paper." I figured he probably wasn't really ready, but I didn't want to ignore his first interests in learning to go potty! I was also pregnant with his baby sister at this point, so having a potty trained toddler by the time she arrived sounded soooo nice. What a dream that would be! Let's at least give it a shot before the next baby comes, I thought.
Commence preparations. I read about the "signs of readiness." I read all about the 3 day naked potty training method. I read the pros and cons of offering candy/stickers/toy rewards. I read all about the supplies I would need.
So we bought a potty seat, a stool, and big boy undies and decided to give it a shot at just two and a few months old (at the time). I figured it couldn't hurt to at least try before the baby came. If it stuck? Great! If not? We would just try again closer to age 3.
Our whole potty training experience went kind of like this:
first showing interest, ABORT mission phase/absolute hatred (his), unsuccessfully making a half-hearted first official attempt, more absolute hatred (this time, mine), and then a second official attempt (3 weeks before baby sister arrives) that finally worked.
Whew. It was a journey.
I am by no means an expert at potty training - at ALL. But I want to remember the details of our efforts here on this blog for my next season of potty training one day. And if you are entering this phase of motherhood too, I hope to offer some encouragement, tips, or laughs to your journey!
Urine luck for a great potty training post.....but seriously. ;)
First Step: PRE-POTTY TRAINING
Pre-potty training spans over a few months (maybe even before they show interest on their own). For us, this "pre-potty training" started out as him ALWAYS coming to the bathroom with me. I mean, every. dang. time. Part of this was just because he loves to follow me everywhere I go (am I right, mamas?), but eventually it turned into me choosing to bring him with me so that we could normalize the potty and start to spark some interest.
Modeling is a huge part of their learning to go potty. I would describe pretty much everything that was happening to him, saying things like,
"Mommy needs to go potty, why don't you come with me?"
"Do you hear that noise?"
"This is what we do with toilet paper."
"I did it! Now we get to flush and wash our hands. Yay!"
He would make his own hilarious observations too, let me tell ya haha. I'm sure your little one will have LOTS of questions and thoughts here too, so this is a great time to start the conversation and build their curiosity.
This routine led to him wanting to sit on the potty and put toilet paper in the potty, just like I had been modeling. His interest at this point came and went for a couple weeks before we finally decided to have our first official attempt. Don't be discouraged if at a young age they seem very interested and it suddenly goes away. That also happened to us. I would still always let him sit or go to the bathroom with me whenever he wanted, but I did not force him to try/offer rewards at this point so as not to make him scared or dread it when the time came. This first step is really just acquainting them with the whole process with no pressure!
Second Step: GIVE IT A GO
When you think pre-potty training could become more serious, dive in to preparations.
Read about the signs of readiness.
Read about the different methods out there.
Read about offering rewards - sticker charts, praise, treasure chests, celebration dances, candy, etc.
Read about/purchase all the supplies you'll need.
On our first attempt, my plan was this: I decided to try the 3 day naked method (there is a book you can purchase, but I just read articles about it like this one) with no candy/toy rewards (I was afraid it would become too much of an obsession and take away from the goal of going potty). My plan was to just offer lots of celebration dancing/clapping/praise only. We would set the timer for every 10-15 minutes to try and go.
This attempt was a complete disaster. Charlie liked it for about the first 1-2 tries on day one and that was it. He got super annoyed at the timer going off and having to stop playing to go. I made the mistake of asking if he was ready to go potty instead of telling him it was time to go potty. He also kind of hated being naked and kept asking for pants. I think I finally put some underwear on him to change things up, but he didn't care if they got wet because it just meant he got to pick out a new clean pair of Cars underwear and that made him happy. It wasn't sinking in that accidents should be sad.
After 3 days of this nonsense and his hating it all, we threw in the towel. (as a matter of fact, literally LOTS of towels because kid just peed everywhere BUT the toilet)
I felt discouraged/confused because he hated it so much (after having once been so interested), and because it was just a lot of mess and crying and telling me "no" when it was time to try again. I just had to listen to his cues about not wanting to try at that point. The last thing I wanted to do was create a dislike for potty training so we just let it go.
BUT.
This failed attempt really was a necessary part of the process for us. I learned some things that did NOT work for him and made quite a few adjustments next time around.
Third Step: TRY, TRY, TRY AGAIN
A couple months after our first try, I felt like I had one more window to try before baby sister came. On top of that, we were about to get hit with the P O L A R V O R T E X of 2019. Several days in a row we were expected to get temperatures of -20 degrees (with -50 degree windchill at night!). AKA - We are NOT going outside this week fam, so we would have plenty of time to work on potty training!! This was actually the burst of motivation I personally needed to really commit and give it all my effort since we had a whole week stuck indoors.
THE NEW PLAN
This time we made some changes to our previous method:
Stay inside for 3-4 days. No, really. HARD but worth it. (I failed to commit to this on our first attempt.)
I would use underwear at all times instead of leaving him without pants. No pull ups either (except while sleeping).
I would offer marshmallows as a reward for every success. (I just picked something I knew we had on hand that he loved :)
I created a sticker chart to hang right by the potty.
I let him pick out special new stickers of his choice from the store.
I let him operate the timer so he could play a role in that part.
I would always tell him it was time to try going, instead of phrasing it as a question or asking if he wanted to.
The first thing we did was create the sticker chart together after picking out special new stickers!
Here's what it ended up looking like:
(The yellow one got full on the bottom row quickly, so we had to make a second one.)
I created the chart WITH him right beside me one day, telling him what I was writing so that he could know what everything said. He loved seeing it and "reading" it again with me every time we went potty. This picture was taken after about a week of training, but the bottom row was the first to fill up and I was also glad to keep track of accidents for myself on the side (it all starts to blend together after a few days, so I found that helpful). He got to put 1 sticker for sitting and trying and 2 stickers for either of the top two rows. This chart was very simple, easy for him to understand, and he LOVED getting to basically have an ongoing art project in the bathroom!
Day one & two we had 0 successes and l o t s of accidents. I laugh now, but it was very disappointing at the time. It was looking like it was going to be a repeat of the first attempt. He would sit on the potty for 5-10 minutes and the second we got up he would just pee while he was playing. It was hard to find a desire to keep going.
However, I did notice
1) he was really more eager this time because he wanted to earn marshmallows/ put stickers on his chart
2) after 2-3 days of accidents, he started to dislike feeling wet and alert me when he was peeing
3) he started to own and accept the timer going off at 15/30 minute intervals because he was operating the timer (something that helped this was always letting him bring whatever book/toy he was busy with at the time when it went off)
4) asking, "Are you keeping your underwear dry?" was a really helpful mental question for him.
So we kept going!!
Finally on day three we had one or two successful attempts. It BLEW his little mind!! He got those marshmallows. He finally got to put stickers on the "peed" row. Mommy lost her mind/praised him like crazy and he thought it was hilarious. He was so proud of himself. That FINALLY convinced him it was worth trying. For the next week we still had 1-2 accidents a day, but overall he was happy to at least try going and was definitely giving it so much more effort!
WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST TRIP OUT OF THE HOUSE?
The first few times we went out, we put a pull-up under his undies, but I still made a point of asking if he was keeping his underwear dry. It was still the same concept, so I didn't make a big deal about him having a pull up on. I wanted him to think he was keeping his underwear dry.
After 3 or 4 days staying indoors, plan a short trip where you can keep practicing. These are some helpful tips:
Tip 1: ALWAYS go potty before leaving the house, and upon arrival at the destination. Yes, it sucks. But you will be glad you did because it'll keep you from panicking in the back of the store when they suddenly have to go potty.
Tip 2: Pack extra clothes AND socks. Yes, the socks get wet. (And a grocery bag for wet clothes just incase.)
Tip 3: Make your first trips out simple ones. Basically, don't make the first trip out someone's birthday party or church just incase it doesn't go so well.
Tip 4: Give lots and lots of grace if there's an accident. Always remind them that it's okay to have accidents sometimes, that you aren't mad, and that you will get them all cleaned up. It's hard not to show anger or frustration on your face, but try not to make them feel bad for having an accident.
Tip 5: Always take a potty trip on the one hour mark (or less if they don't go) while you are out for extended periods of time at first. Even if they haven't said they need to go, when you are out of the house you should take them to the potty often.
It took Charlie close to 2 weeks to be able to tell me when he felt like he needed to go. Every kid might be different there, but I would definitely recommend YOU still being in control of telling them when it's time to try until you know they can fully tell you every time.
Potty training is no joke. We have been 95% potty trained (except sleeping/going number 2) for over two months and sometimes there are still accidents. It's a process for sure! The biggest piece of advice I have is to read your child's cues of desire and jump in 100% when you feel like they are ready to tackle it! And give them lots of grace and praise along the way! Nothing happens overnight with potty training but it's so important to keep going even if you had a disaster of a day.
I'll leave you with a list of our favorite potty training items, and lots of well wishes!
OUR FAVORITE POTTY TRIANING ITEMS
1. Potty Seat - This worked great at home, but I found that it didn't fit many public toilets.
2. Bathroom stool - Used for getting to the potty and the sink. This isn't out exact one, but ours also had 2 steps.
3. Disney CARS Undies
4. Free & Clear Detergent (Be sure to wash their underwear in this because it's the first time their bottom is being exposed to detergent/cotton for long periods. We had some irritation with original Tide at first.)
5. Toy Story Stickers
6. Lots of marshmallows!
Let me know in the comments things you found helpful when you potty trained or things that you did differently! Next time I'll be potty training a girl so I'm sure things will be different. ;)
Emily
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