Christmas Cookies + BEST Icing for Decorating

I love love love to bake. When I was living at home with my parents, the idea of baking always sounded fun but since no one in my family was an avid baker, we didn't usually keep a ton of baking ingredients on hand. So I would always talk myself out of trying to bake something new. 

When I got married, though, I quickly grew to love and look forward to baking. Mostly because I was baking for my husband, now! It was also pretty resourceful too, because those brown bananas needed to be put to good use, right? In the last few years baking has become something I do regularly and love to do. And when you have two boys under your roof, they will never EVER resent having a Mom who loves to bake! 

Finding a fun set of cookie cutters at Dollar Tree the other day was really what made me want to decorate Christmas cookies, so that's what we did this past Thursday. This was the first time Charlie got to "help" use cookie cutters and he was ALL about it. Not so much the cookie cutting, but definitely the squishing of dough and sneaking handfulls into his mouth faster than we could catch. Seriously, try baking with a one year old soon...you will be amazed at how fast they are at making a mess and sneak-eating.

The gingerbread mix we used was wonderfully prepared by the one and only Betty Crocker. They turned out more like a soft baked cookie than a crunchy gingersnap.While I usually love to make my other favorite cookies homemade, I definitely appreciated the ease of a pre-made mix since we were going all out for our cookie decorating shebang with a toddler included.

BUTTERCREAM JUST LIKE ROYAL ICING 

Royal icing is all the hype right now, but I'm still a little weirded out about using a raw egg like that, and feeding it to my little one. So we made a batch of buttercream and it ended up being the most royal-icing like buttercream I have EVER seen. You'll notice on my cookies (especially the Grandma Snowman) how the frosting smoothed out similar to royal icing. So if you are looking for the royal icing effect with a classic buttercream taste, I would definitely recommend this recipe.

Ingredients:

3 cups powdered sugar

1/3 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1-2 tablespoons milk


Directions:

1. Start by mixing 2 cups of the powdered sugar and softened butter with a mixer. (You will add in the third cup of powdered sugar later.)

2. Add the vanilla extract and 1-2 tablespoons of milk to the mixture and incorporate with the mixer again.

3. Add in the last cup of powdered sugar, little by little, mixing after each addition. If the mixture is becoming super thick, do not add anymore of the powdered sugar. It's okay if you don't use all of the last cup of powdered sugar. In order to achieve a "royal icing-like" consistency, you will want the frosting to be slightly thinner than normal buttercream would be. I found that using the mixer for a minute or two also allowed for a smoother texture on the icing.

4. Once the consistency is right, add in food color of your choice for decorating!

My plate

Husband's plate

I hope you all get a chance to do some cookie decorating this year! We cut and baked the cookies together as a family, but once Charlie was in bed for the night we had a cookie decorating "date" at the kitchen table and it's one of my favorite holiday memories so far this year. It doesn't have to be fancy (I used Dollar Tree items and pre-made mix! ;), it only has to be fun!


Merry Christmas, friends!

King Jesus Surrendered and So Should I

Confession: I have been 100% stressing over Christmas this year.

I started thinking about gifts way earlier than I normally would, wrote so many lists so that I could be checking things off, made sure each Christmas present was what that person specifically wanted, and have just been trying to do it all. And guess what? It's not been fun. Or joyful. Or without an immense amount of stress put on myself.

Maybe this year has been more stressful because it's our first year traveling home for Christmas. What if I forget something? What if it snows the day we're supposed to leave? Maybe that thought was just too overwhelming and needed too much planning. Maybe I was trying to achieve perfection to compensate for not being around family the whole month of December. How can we do all of our favorite Christmas things in the span of 2 weeks! Maybe I was just completely and utterly giving in to every wrong desire to give and do the most, the best, and the most meaningful.

My heart is so tempted, and often does, give in to worry and people-pleasing.

Last night after dinner I told my husband, "I'm tired of thinking about Christmas." Not exactly what people usually say about the holidays. Christmas is usually something I could enjoy all year long.

Are you ready for what he said back to me? "Don't think about it all day long." He went on, "Write your thoughts down clearly as they come, and if it's something you can't take care of at that exact moment, just come back later. In the meantime, think about something else."

*Insert shocked/blinking guy GIF here*

No one told me I had to do Christmas the way I had been. No one put any pressure on me to do X and Y. I didn't have to be thinking about Christmas planning or wish lists 90% of the time, I just was and wanted to be. I created unnecessary stress by my own, sinful self. Christmas anxiety, party of one.

He's right. I don't have to think about it all day long. When the thought is overwhelming or worrisome, I should know then and there that it's probably time to move on for the day. That's my reminder to give it over to the Lord. There is absolutely no joy in worrying about things being "perfect."

This morning as I thought about what my husband said last night, I realized I have spent so much time thinking and creating stressful thoughts, demanding my own way, seeking worldly approval, and far less time meditating on the good news of the Christmas season. I have deprived myself of true joy, and that is a sad thought to realize.

When I came to the day's advent reading in Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul Tripp, the first sentence said, "I have a confession to make: I'm a very project-oriented person. I know exactly what I want to accomplish every day of my life...In the midst of the drivenness of the day I become a God-amnesiac, and my thoughts, desires, and emotions are shaped by how well I am able to accomplish my sovereign plan for the day."

Me me me me me. Me. Me. Hand raised. Exactly how I have been feeling. Right there the Lord was about to call me out and speak specifically to my sin.

Let me share some other truths from that daily advent reading:

-My way of living (that is, with worry, demanding my own way, seeking perfection and worldly approval) is in stark contrast to Jesus' way of living. Jesus models the Lord's Prayer, which shows us a better way to orient our priorities and desires.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

-Paul Tripp says in his book that the Lord's Prayer is a call to surrender every moment, situation, relationship, and natural gifting to the will of the King.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

-The amazing truth of the gospel came through Jesus' sacrifice and surrender.  If anyone had a right to demand their own way, their own goals/plans/desires it was Jesus. And yet, he surrendered all of that by coming into the world as a helpless, crownless baby, living a perfect life, dying a terrible death on the cross, and rising again on the third day to defeat sin and death.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

I need simple reminders like this when the cloud of anxiety and people-pleasing has made me forget. I don't want to spend my daily thoughts, let alone during Christmastime, on things that are not true, not helpful, and not Christ-like. King Jesus surrendered his will for the will of the Father and so should I.

"BIG REPUTATION, BIG REPUTATION" REVIEW + OTHER THOUGHTS

I broke down and got Taylor Swift's new album Reputation last weekend. I honestly didn't think I would want it because I didn't like the first single she released, but as the album release got closer I just flat out changed my mind. I love owning physical copies of music, so we headed to Target on Saturday morning to pick it up. Husband went along with it, thankfully. He's the best. ;)

Y'all are probably going to laugh about this post and think I'm silly. But I just feel like writing about it and going down memory lane, if you will.

It's fun to have one thing you've loved for a long time, that you keep coming back to year after year. For some people it's a certain book or a movie series. In a lot of ways, music has always been that for me. Taylor Swift is at the top of the list probably.

I remember the first time I saw her in concert with my mom and middle school friend in 2008. She was on tour with Rascal Flatts who I was really more interested in at the time. (And by interested, I really mean absolutely obsessed but that's probably for another nostalgic post. 😂) Taylor had just released "Love Story" on the radio and I remember being SO hopeful that she would sing it at the concert and she did. I'm not joking when I say that it gave me chills when she started playing it just because I was so full of excitement and that kind of special feeling you get when you hear a favorite song. I wish I had pictures to share, but that was almost 10 years ago so who knows where they are now! 

The second time I saw Taylor Swift perform was on the RED tour in 2013 with my little sister, Rachel. Ed Sheeran was on tour with Taylor and it was pretty stinkin' great. I was blown away because she changed outfits like 20 times. It was the first concert I drove and went to without an "adult" - I was the adult now haha. Enjoy this extra blurry picture of our good sister memory.

Here we are years later. I'm 2.5 years married, have a 15 month old son, and I'm still listening and getting excited about her new music. 

Reputation is not my favorite album of hers and I doubt it ever will be. It doesn't have that cohesive feeling or emotion like I normally get from her other albums. Overall I would say the album has fewer genuinely sweet love songs than I would like, she does a lot more talk-singing in a monotone voice, and some of the songs are little too vengeful for my taste. Ha! So I definitely have some issues with it. However, there are a few great ones on there too. I'll list my favorites at the end, so keep reading.

I'm still glad I decided to pick it up. She's changed as an artist over the years, that is for sure. I've changed too. I think change is a normal and good thing for an artist to do. I'm not going to be one of those people that complain about how Taylor Swift went from country to pop. But I think it's interesting that there's something that still remains that brings all those familiar emotions back up to the surface.

I know I'm not the only one who has that one thing they'll probably just love because it holds a special place in their growing up years. Doesn't matter if it gets a bad reputation. (See what I did there?) Or if it changes over the years. Or if it seems a little childish. Or outdated. It might be a "guilty pleasure," something that makes you feel nostalgic, something that makes you remember. That's how I feel about Reputation.

If you haven't listened to Taylor Swift's new album yet, I would recommend these favorites to you: 

Delicate 

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Call It What You Want

Getaway Car

King of My Heart

New Years Day

Happy listening! Xo Emily



Hold on to the memories they will hold on to you. And I will hold on to you.

A VERY TODDLER HALLOWEEN

I love Halloween.

There, I said it. 

My husband thinks its hilarious and weird how much I love Halloween, but I don't care. I don't love the scary/spooky kind of Halloween, but rather the carved pumpkins, babies in fuzzy costumes, bowls of candy corn, and glittery decorations kind of Halloween. That's what I'm all about. So today I thought let's do some fun Halloween activities....as best we can. 

Painting Pumpkins

We bought some pumpkins from our friend's adoption fundraiser a few Sundays ago that I have been decorating with and I decided to let Charlie finger paint them today. He was very serious about it, you guys. He actually preferred using a paint brush over his fingers. Note taken for next time around. And he only tried to stick the paint brush in his mouth once, so I'd call that a success! 

Let's talk about toddlers and painting. I was sure to strip him down to his diaper, cover his high chair with plastic, and use non-toxic washable acrylic paint. What are your best tips for toddler + painting? I would love to do more of this in the future, and I'm sure there are better tips or hacks out there for some great painting, so be sure to send them my way.

Pausing to look at the doggie outside

I also decided to paint and carve one myself while Charlie played with the pumpkin lid and guts. I thought that would be a fun sensory activity for him. He touched the guts once and that was enough for him. For whatever reason he thought the lid was more interesting. I just carved a simple "C" for Charlie.

Halloween & Trick-Or-Treating

Months back, I had not even started to think about Charlie's costume for this year when my mom said, "You know, I think I have one of your costumes down in the basement." And sure enough it was perfect for Charlie! It was so fun for him to wear something that was his Mommy's.

It was super cold and I couldn't get him to say trick or treat like we had successfully practiced aalllllll week. Of course. We were out for maybe 20 minutes and visited a total of 6 houses but that's okay! He had fun, got to wear his costume, and all the sweet people we met on our walk just wanted to eat him up. He was genuinely more excited about wearing his mittens than he was getting candy or wearing a costume. Oh, toddlers are the best!

On a mission for some treats

"Wait, I'm pretty sure I heard another doggie."

As a final thank you if you made it to the end of this very long post, here is yours truly Halloween '95 reppin the OG pumpkin outfit. 

I hope you all had a Happy Halloween!

THE PUMPKIN PATCH

Last Saturday the forecast called for rain, but we had a sunny enough morning to decide last minute to go to the zoo for their pumpkin festival!

Cosley Zoo is a small zoo nearby with all kinds of farm animals, bobcats, foxes, owls, hawks, rabbits, and a duck pond. Charlie loves it, and it's free for Wheaton residents - so it's one of our favorite outings. This was Daddy's first time going to the zoo with us!

There were piles of pumpkins big and small, a mound of hay bales, and a few kiddie rides. Charlie was only interested in the pumpkins for about a half a second and then he spotted it. THE RIDES. If this kid ever gets a wiff of something fun happening nearby, he will sniff it out. He is all about F-U-N.

After a few minutes of watching him stare longingly at the trade ride, Samuel and I looked at each other knowing we had to get him a ticket. It was his first ride!!! I can't believe he's already old enough to go on a kiddie ride. Time, slow down! I was pretty confident he would love riding the train. But I will admit I got a little worried when the train pulled away and he looked backed with wide eyes and said, "Dada!?" But by the end of one time around the loop, he realized he loved it! What a big boy.

Here are some pictures from our day. Enjoy Charlie's very wind-blown hair.  😆 

This is when it happened. 

Me: Charlie, look at these fun pumpkins!

Charlie: OMG RIDES, MOM

Happy October, y'all! 

Dear Mama Trying to Breastfeed

I've tried to write this post at least once, if not twice, before. But every time, I couldn't really write it the way I was wanting to. What I want to tell you is isn't meant to create fear or worry. (The opposite actually.) I never wanted my hurt and confusion to be the only thing that was communicated (which is what it would have been had I shared what I wrote in my iPhone Notes when I was 3 months postpartum in the wee hours of the morning). I think I'm finally at a point where I feel good about sharing this personal and honest part of being a mom. I want to tell this story because I wish I had heard someone else share something similar before I had a baby. I honestly did not know it was out there. I hope what I share will encourage and be a comfort to those who have had (or will have) this same experience.

This morning I decided it was finally time to throw away our last container of infant formula. Charlie hasn't needed it for probably the last 2-3 weeks, but it lasts a month after opening so I figured I would just keep it out until I absolutely knew we were done with it. And praise the Lord, we have finally reached that day!!

I never knew we would depend so much on formula. I had every single intention of breastfeeding our baby for as long as I could during his first year of life. But that's not how our experience worked out (and, spoiler alert: that is absolutely okay!!)

We took the breastfeeding class at the hospital before baby. We saw the lactation consultant after he was born like every other patient. Nothing in my mind gave me doubts about our breastfeeding journey. Everyone told me it was natural and we had even learned in the class that babies come out of the womb knowing how to nurse. How amazing is that! But then we got home from the hospital and our son screamed, and screamed, and screamed even after nursing for an hour which I had been told was normal (the nursing length, not the screaming). We called the nurse's station after being discharged wondering if we needed to take our son to the ER at 3 a.m. one of those first nights of screaming. This baby was inconsolable and bucked away from me trying to feed him or give him a pacifier to soothe himself. Everyone told us it was probably okay....it could be colic, the dreaded witching hour, "that's just what babies do," and "you'll get the hang of it."

Praise the Lord - we had a doctors appointment first thing Monday morning after his birth the previous Thursday because of slight jaundice. The hospital doctor almost didn't schedule our appointment that soon because there really wasn't a ton of jaundice, but he decided to schedule it soon anyway. Only 4 days later, we found out Charlie had lost a whole pound in weight. Our doctor (whom I grew to really love) said very seriously, this was a huge huge problem. She immediately called the hospital lactation nurses to get his weight checked after a nursing session first thing the next morning. She told us that there was obviously a nursing issue (probably thinking it was a bad latch) and that not only was he not getting enough milk, but that the constant hunger-screaming was burning even more calories. Our little newborn had been screaming inconsolably because he was hungry. Not good on top of not good. I think we went to 3 doctors appointments the first week of his life to observe and check his weight. It was exhausting and there was a lot of crying.

At the first lactation appointment with the hospital lady, she said that there was only ever hope that I could breastfeed maybe 50% of his daily need. The rest would have to be from formula.  She remembered seeing me in the hospital but didn't want to say anything at the time (I guess I understand that, but not really). She told me that a lack of breast tissue would keep me from exclusively breastfeeding (something she attributed to being from Kentucky and eating fried chicken growing up - and I HATE fried chicken so I should have known then and there that she was just not going to be helpful lol). There may be some truth to what she was getting at, but as you will find out there was more going on that she didn't even know about.

When I repeated what she said to any moms who had breastfed exclusively, they were offended and shocked that she would ever say that to someone seeking lactation help. I mean, she was a lactation consultant for goodness sake! My family and friends I talked to didn't believe for a second that breastfeeding would be impossible for us. She just didn't know what she was talking about and was giving up too fast. My confusion and not knowing what to believe just kept spiraling.

Eventually we saw our third lactation specialist when Charlie was about 3 weeks old. I knew I wanted things to be better. Charlie was gaining weight finally, and supplementing with formula was helping, but I still had hopes of breastfeeding exclusively. This sweet consultant named Vicky observed and offered a schedule of pumping, taking herbal supplements, eating lactation cookies, and a nursing schedule that would hopefully build my supply and get baby back on track. In the mean time, we would still need to supplement with formula.

But here comes the kicker. In this appointment we learned that Charlie had a severe tongue and lip tie preventing him from nursing well. She said that there was no way he would ever be able to nurse exclusively in this condition. Are you shocked? I was shocked too. Charlie was 3 weeks old, we had seen the hospital pediatrician, multiple lactation consultants at the hospital, and our regular pediatrician, and a lactation specialist at our pediatricians office within those early weeks and this was the very first mention of an inhibiting tongue or lip tie. My husband and I had never felt so confused or let down.

Tongue and lip ties are not unheard of. They are easy to fix and in most cases, finally give babies and mamas the chance at breastfeeding that they wanted. We had Charlie's fixed with an easy procedure and I did see some improvements. But we were never able to breastfeed exclusively. Pumping only yielded .5-1.5 ounces every two or so hours. By this time, my body, my energy and perseverance in nursing, his ability to relearn his latch, all the formula he was already getting, and everything else just kept us too far behind. We made it to 4 months of supplementing breastfeeding and formula before we switched to 100% formula. I didn't think my heart or our bank account would be able to handle that switch to all formula, but here we are 13 months later with a very happy and healthy baby. The Lord takes care of his children.

I'm so so thankful for those few months that we did have of some breastfeeding. Charlie loved nursing even though he knew that after a few minutes he would get a more satisfying and filling bottle, so I kept it up as long as he was interested. I learned so much. I just wish that I had known more "troubleshooting" things before going into it. For example, we didn't even OWN any bottles or formula. I was completely blindsided by how we thought this experience would go down.

So, much farther down the road, with breastfeeding and formula-feeding officially behind us, I want to offer encouragement and wisdom to mamas who are trying to breastfeed.

• Not everyone has the same experience with breastfeeding. Sometimes it's a beautiful and wonderful experience of bonding with your baby. Sometimes it's a struggle and makes you not want to hold you baby (because they will cry/expect food that you can't give). Sometimes you won't even feel like trying to nurse anymore. It is generally a very natural thing that God created our bodies to be able to do, true. And that is amazing. Despite my hardships, I am still so completely amazed by breastfeeding and think it's always going to be the best thing for baby. But for a mama who is struggling, sometimes reminding her how "natural" it is supposed to be is not helpful. 

• More than just a "good latch" will help. Drink more water, less caffeine. Eat high fat/carb foods, less sugary foods. Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, and pumping early on can help. Stressing about it can hurt your supply too. I didn't learn the practical ways to build milk supply before the baby was born, so this one is for me specifically next time around! 

• Have a discussion with your hospital doctor/pediatrician about a tongue/lip tie if nursing is difficult. I didn't know to ask about this at the hospital. Many different people checked Charlie out, but this still went undiscovered for too long. It's nothing to be afraid of because it's such a simple fix, but I do wish it had crossed my mind sooner.

• Be transparent with people who can encourage you.  One of the sweetest memories that stands out to my husband and I is from a discussion with a small group friend who also happens to be a doctor. He and his wife had used formula with their two young daughters. He told us that they had a good experience with Target brand Gentle Formula. I was so thankful for friends who could relate to our experience. Furthermore, you don't have to buy the most expensive name brand. Charlie actually did better on the Target Gentle Formula than he did on Similac. Your doctor can give you samples of different brands to try. 

• Hold your "plan" loosely. Man, this is true in ALL of parenting! Haha. Even though I planned to breastfeed, it would have been wise for me to at least own a few good bottles and to do a little reading about formula-feeding before the baby came. Things I wish I had read before hand would be formula brands, understanding ounces/how often, how to safely mix and store it formula, etc.

• A fed baby is the healthiest baby. Breastfeeding is great and the most natural milk for your baby. But formula saved our little baby from going hungry. And for that, I'm so thankful that God also created infant formula!

This long post has been a long time coming. We prayed that our baby would continue to grow healthy and strong no matter how we were feeding him, and guess what? He did! The Lord is faithful to give you wisdom as that baby's mama, friends who can pray and encourage you, and perseverance when things just seem too hard. I pray the same things for you, mama. Be encouraged in the trenches of parenting and keep running the race set before you.

CHALK PAINT MAKEOVER: COFFEE TABLE (PART 2)

About 3 weeks before we moved to Illinois we were heading over to my sister-in-law's house for a little summer cookout. We were just a couple houses away from our destination when I noticed a huge pile of garbage/furniture thrown to the curb at another house on her street. I really didn't think anything of it as we passed. Then, something caught my eye in the rearview mirror. It looked like a decent coffee table, leaning on it's side in the grass. I couldn't even see the entire thing. We had just sold our coffee table and end table set, so I thought to myself that it couldn't hurt to look at it, could it? It was probably junk since it was on the curb ready for trash pick up. I quickly said hey to everyone at the cookout before I dashed down the street to take a look at it anyway.

And behold, it was a huge coffee table with gorgeous detailing and structure. It was real wood, but it had definitely seen better days.

BEFORE 

Sooooo you better believe I shoved that baby in our car. A few days later it was loaded onto a moving truck headed for Illinois with us. You can see it in the early stages in the picture of our living room at the bottom of this post. 

I finally got around to redoing this piece around the beginning of September. There was a LOT of sanding and filling to be done on this table.

If I'm being totally honest, the top part still did not turn out as smooth as I would have liked it. I'm not sure if it was just too scratched up to really fix well, or if I should have sanded it even more after the wood putty. Still, I love the way this (*free*) coffee table turned out after the paint job. And in the season of life with a little baby who loves to bang toys and crackers on our coffee table, it's not the worst thing to have something we don't have to worry about.

The coffee table was redone just like the end tables I blogged about last month as Part 1 of this post, but with a little something special. Instead of painting it all gray, I painted the table top with the same Rustoleum "Aged Gray", and the bottom half with Rustoleum "French Cream" (which actually appears more white than yellow in person). THESE COLORS, y'all. I love this combination so so much.

The thing that you HAVE. TO. do with chalk paint is seal with a wax. It is a must. I tested that theory out on this coffee table. I kept it in use in our living room without wax for a little over a week, and I had to physically clean finger prints and dirt smudges off of the table with a damp cloth multiple times over the course of that week. Everything clung to the dry, chalky surface of that table. That aint happenin'. So I finally threw on the wax and it made allllll the difference. 

So be sure to pick up some of this stuff when you are picking out your paint. It will last you a very long time, too! 

AFTER 

This was pre-wax (look how dry it looks!), but it gives you a really good idea of the color combination.

I had a ton of fun painting these three pieces of furniture...annnddd now I'm ready to sit back and enjoy them! I hope these posts have been helpful or have inspired you to go out and do something of your own. And be sure to send me pictures!