King Jesus Surrendered and So Should I

Confession: I have been 100% stressing over Christmas this year.

I started thinking about gifts way earlier than I normally would, wrote so many lists so that I could be checking things off, made sure each Christmas present was what that person specifically wanted, and have just been trying to do it all. And guess what? It's not been fun. Or joyful. Or without an immense amount of stress put on myself.

Maybe this year has been more stressful because it's our first year traveling home for Christmas. What if I forget something? What if it snows the day we're supposed to leave? Maybe that thought was just too overwhelming and needed too much planning. Maybe I was trying to achieve perfection to compensate for not being around family the whole month of December. How can we do all of our favorite Christmas things in the span of 2 weeks! Maybe I was just completely and utterly giving in to every wrong desire to give and do the most, the best, and the most meaningful.

My heart is so tempted, and often does, give in to worry and people-pleasing.

Last night after dinner I told my husband, "I'm tired of thinking about Christmas." Not exactly what people usually say about the holidays. Christmas is usually something I could enjoy all year long.

Are you ready for what he said back to me? "Don't think about it all day long." He went on, "Write your thoughts down clearly as they come, and if it's something you can't take care of at that exact moment, just come back later. In the meantime, think about something else."

*Insert shocked/blinking guy GIF here*

No one told me I had to do Christmas the way I had been. No one put any pressure on me to do X and Y. I didn't have to be thinking about Christmas planning or wish lists 90% of the time, I just was and wanted to be. I created unnecessary stress by my own, sinful self. Christmas anxiety, party of one.

He's right. I don't have to think about it all day long. When the thought is overwhelming or worrisome, I should know then and there that it's probably time to move on for the day. That's my reminder to give it over to the Lord. There is absolutely no joy in worrying about things being "perfect."

This morning as I thought about what my husband said last night, I realized I have spent so much time thinking and creating stressful thoughts, demanding my own way, seeking worldly approval, and far less time meditating on the good news of the Christmas season. I have deprived myself of true joy, and that is a sad thought to realize.

When I came to the day's advent reading in Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul Tripp, the first sentence said, "I have a confession to make: I'm a very project-oriented person. I know exactly what I want to accomplish every day of my life...In the midst of the drivenness of the day I become a God-amnesiac, and my thoughts, desires, and emotions are shaped by how well I am able to accomplish my sovereign plan for the day."

Me me me me me. Me. Me. Hand raised. Exactly how I have been feeling. Right there the Lord was about to call me out and speak specifically to my sin.

Let me share some other truths from that daily advent reading:

-My way of living (that is, with worry, demanding my own way, seeking perfection and worldly approval) is in stark contrast to Jesus' way of living. Jesus models the Lord's Prayer, which shows us a better way to orient our priorities and desires.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

-Paul Tripp says in his book that the Lord's Prayer is a call to surrender every moment, situation, relationship, and natural gifting to the will of the King.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

-The amazing truth of the gospel came through Jesus' sacrifice and surrender.  If anyone had a right to demand their own way, their own goals/plans/desires it was Jesus. And yet, he surrendered all of that by coming into the world as a helpless, crownless baby, living a perfect life, dying a terrible death on the cross, and rising again on the third day to defeat sin and death.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

I need simple reminders like this when the cloud of anxiety and people-pleasing has made me forget. I don't want to spend my daily thoughts, let alone during Christmastime, on things that are not true, not helpful, and not Christ-like. King Jesus surrendered his will for the will of the Father and so should I.