THAT TIME WE POTTY TRAINED 3 WEEKS BEFORE BABY SISTER WAS DUE

I have been dreading potty training basically since I found out I was pregnant with Charlie.

Soothing a crying baby, changing millions of diapers, waking up at all hours of the night - all of those things I felt like I knew what to expect. But potty training pretty much terrified me and sounded like the worst.

Was it? ...Okay, yeah, maybe for a day or two.

Not long after my son turned two, he was always asking to "go potty" and "use paper." I figured he probably wasn't really ready, but I didn't want to ignore his first interests in learning to go potty!  I was also pregnant with his baby sister at this point, so having a potty trained toddler by the time she arrived sounded soooo nice. What a dream that would be! Let's at least give it a shot before the next baby comes, I thought.

Commence preparations. I read about the "signs of readiness." I read all about the 3 day naked potty training method. I read the pros and cons of offering candy/stickers/toy rewards. I read all about the supplies I would need.

So we bought a potty seat, a stool, and big boy undies and decided to give it a shot at just two and a few months old (at the time). I figured it couldn't hurt to at least try before the baby came. If it stuck? Great! If not? We would just try again closer to age 3.

Our whole potty training experience went kind of like this:
first showing interest, ABORT mission phase/absolute hatred (his), unsuccessfully making a half-hearted first official attempt, more absolute hatred (this time, mine), and then a second official attempt (3 weeks before baby sister arrives) that finally worked.

Whew. It was a journey.

I am by no means an expert at potty training - at ALL. But I want to remember the details of our efforts here on this blog for my next season of potty training one day. And if you are entering this phase of motherhood too, I hope to offer some encouragement, tips, or laughs to your journey!

Urine luck for a great potty training post.....but seriously. ;)


First Step: PRE-POTTY TRAINING
Pre-potty training spans over a few months (maybe even before they show interest on their own). For us, this "pre-potty training" started out as him ALWAYS coming to the bathroom with me. I mean, every. dang. time. Part of this was just because he loves to follow me everywhere I go (am I right, mamas?), but eventually it turned into me choosing to bring him with me so that we could normalize the potty and start to spark some interest.

Modeling is a huge part of their learning to go potty. I would describe pretty much everything that was happening to him, saying things like,
"Mommy needs to go potty, why don't you come with me?"
"Do you hear that noise?"
"This is what we do with toilet paper."
"I did it! Now we get to flush and wash our hands. Yay!"

He would make his own hilarious observations too, let me tell ya haha. I'm sure your little one will have LOTS of questions and thoughts here too, so this is a great time to start the conversation and build their curiosity.

This routine led to him wanting to sit on the potty and put toilet paper in the potty, just like I had been modeling. His interest at this point came and went for a couple weeks before we finally decided to have our first official attempt. Don't be discouraged if at a young age they seem very interested and it suddenly goes away. That also happened to us. I would still always let him sit or go to the bathroom with me whenever he wanted, but I did not force him to try/offer rewards at this point so as not to make him scared or dread it when the time came. This first step is really just acquainting them with the whole process with no pressure!


Second Step: GIVE IT A GO
When you think pre-potty training could become more serious, dive in to preparations.
Read about the signs of readiness.
Read about the different methods out there.
Read about offering rewards - sticker charts, praise, treasure chests, celebration dances, candy, etc.
Read about/purchase all the supplies you'll need.

On our first attempt, my plan was this: I decided to try the 3 day naked method (there is a book you can purchase, but I just read articles about it like this one) with no candy/toy rewards (I was afraid it would become too much of an obsession and take away from the goal of going potty). My plan was to just offer lots of celebration dancing/clapping/praise only. We would set the timer for every 10-15 minutes to try and go.

This attempt was a complete disaster. Charlie liked it for about the first 1-2 tries on day one and that was it. He got super annoyed at the timer going off and having to stop playing to go. I made the mistake of asking if he was ready to go potty instead of telling him it was time to go potty. He also kind of hated being naked and kept asking for pants. I think I finally put some underwear on him to change things up, but he didn't care if they got wet because it just meant he got to pick out a new clean pair of Cars underwear and that made him happy. It wasn't sinking in that accidents should be sad.

After 3 days of this nonsense and his hating it all, we threw in the towel. (as a matter of fact, literally LOTS of towels because kid just peed everywhere BUT the toilet)

I felt discouraged/confused because he hated it so much (after having once been so interested), and because it was just a lot of mess and crying and telling me "no" when it was time to try again. I just had to listen to his cues about not wanting to try at that point. The last thing I wanted to do was create a dislike for potty training so we just let it go.

BUT.
This failed attempt really was a necessary part of the process for us. I learned some things that did NOT work for him and made quite a few adjustments next time around.

Third Step: TRY, TRY, TRY AGAIN
A couple months after our first try, I felt like I had one more window to try before baby sister came. On top of that, we were about to get hit with the  P O L A R   V O R T E X   of 2019. Several days in a row we were expected to get temperatures of -20 degrees (with -50 degree windchill at night!). AKA - We are NOT going outside this week fam, so we would have plenty of time to work on potty training!! This was actually the burst of motivation I personally needed to really commit and give it all my effort since we had a whole week stuck indoors.

THE NEW PLAN
This time we made some changes to our previous method:
Stay inside for 3-4 days. No, really. HARD but worth it. (I failed to commit to this on our first attempt.)
I would use underwear at all times instead of leaving him without pants. No pull ups either (except while sleeping).
I would offer marshmallows as a reward for every success. (I just picked something I knew we had on hand that he loved :)
I created a sticker chart to hang right by the potty.
I let him pick out special new stickers of his choice from the store.
I let him operate the timer so he could play a role in that part.
I would always tell him it was time to try going, instead of phrasing it as a question or asking if he wanted to.

The first thing we did was create the sticker chart together after picking out special new stickers!
Here's what it ended up looking like:
(The yellow one got full on the bottom row quickly, so we had to make a second one.)

I created the chart WITH him right beside me one day, telling him what I was writing so that he could know what everything said. He loved seeing it and "reading" it again with me every time we went potty. This picture was taken after about a week of training, but the bottom row was the first to fill up and I was also glad to keep track of accidents for myself on the side (it all starts to blend together after a few days, so I found that helpful). He got to put 1 sticker for sitting and trying and 2 stickers for either of the top two rows.  This chart was very simple, easy for him to understand, and he LOVED getting to basically have an ongoing art project in the bathroom!

Day one & two we had 0 successes and   l o t s   of accidents. I laugh now, but it was very disappointing at the time. It was looking like it was going to be a repeat of the first attempt. He would sit on the potty for 5-10 minutes and the second we got up he would just pee while he was playing. It was hard to find a desire to keep going.

However, I did notice
1) he was really more eager this time because he wanted to earn marshmallows/ put stickers on his chart
2) after 2-3 days of accidents, he started to dislike feeling wet and alert me when he was peeing
3) he started to own and accept the timer going off at 15/30 minute intervals because he was operating the timer (something that helped this was always letting him bring whatever book/toy he was busy with at the time when it went off)
4) asking, "Are you keeping your underwear dry?" was a really helpful mental question for him.

So we kept going!!

Finally on day three we had one or two successful attempts. It BLEW his little mind!! He got those marshmallows. He finally got to put stickers on the "peed" row. Mommy lost her mind/praised him like crazy and he thought it was hilarious. He was so proud of himself. That FINALLY convinced him it was worth trying. For the next week we still had 1-2 accidents a day, but overall he was happy to at least try going and was definitely giving it so much more effort!


WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST TRIP OUT OF THE HOUSE? 
The first few times we went out, we put a pull-up under his undies, but I still made a point of asking if he was keeping his underwear dry. It was still the same concept, so I didn't make a big deal about him having a pull up on. I wanted him to think he was keeping his underwear dry.

After 3 or 4 days staying indoors, plan a short trip where you can keep practicing. These are some helpful tips:
Tip 1: ALWAYS go potty before leaving the house, and upon arrival at the destination. Yes, it sucks. But you will be glad you did because it'll keep you from panicking in the back of the store when they suddenly have to go potty.

Tip 2: Pack extra clothes AND socks. Yes, the socks get wet. (And a grocery bag for wet clothes just incase.)

Tip 3: Make your first trips out simple ones. Basically, don't make the first trip out someone's birthday party or church just incase it doesn't go so well.

Tip 4: Give lots and lots of grace if there's an accident. Always remind them that it's okay to have accidents sometimes, that you aren't mad, and that you will get them all cleaned up. It's hard not to show anger or frustration on your face, but try not to make them feel bad for having an accident.

Tip 5: Always take a potty trip on the one hour mark (or less if they don't go) while you are out for extended periods of time at first. Even if they haven't said they need to go, when you are out of the house you should take them to the potty often.


It took Charlie close to 2 weeks to be able to tell me when he felt like he needed to go. Every kid might be different there, but I would definitely recommend YOU still being in control of telling them when it's time to try until you know they can fully tell you every time.

Potty training is no joke. We have been 95% potty trained (except sleeping/going number 2) for over two months and sometimes there are still accidents. It's a process for sure! The biggest piece of advice I have is to read your child's cues of desire and jump in 100% when you feel like they are ready to tackle it! And give them lots of grace and praise along the way! Nothing happens overnight with potty training but it's so important to keep going even if you had a disaster of a day.

I'll leave you with a list of our favorite potty training items, and lots of well wishes!

OUR FAVORITE POTTY TRIANING ITEMS
1. Potty Seat - This worked great at home, but I found that it didn't fit many public toilets.
2. Bathroom stool - Used for getting to the potty and the sink. This isn't out exact one, but ours also had 2 steps.
3. Disney CARS Undies
4. Free & Clear Detergent (Be sure to wash their underwear in this because it's the first time their bottom is being exposed to detergent/cotton for long periods. We had some irritation with original Tide at first.)
5. Toy Story Stickers
6. Lots of marshmallows!


Let me know in the comments things you found helpful when you potty trained or things that you did differently!  Next time I'll be potty training a girl so I'm sure things will be different. ;)

Emily

INDUCTION BIRTH STORY: RUTH CAROLINE

Little Ruthie girl is one month old! It's been such a sweet first month getting to know our girl. She's such a relaxed baby - and being second time parents has made us more relaxed too. I shared Charlie's birth story when he was born (you can read it here and here), so I am excited to also share hers with you. It's so fun to jot these memories down while they are fresh. And if any of you are planning to be induced or curious about what my first induction experience was like, I hope our story will be helpful!

Overall, Ruthie's arrival was so much smoother than Charlie's. Just to remind my friends of some of the slightly traumatic events in his birth, Charlie had a bowel movement in utero, had to go to the nursery to be observed because of all the meconium he inhaled, and the first time we got to hold him was 5 looong hours later. It broke my heart to not be able to hold and see him right after delivery. It was a little bit of a rough start on us all.

Ruthie's birth was pretty different. The only thing they had in common was that they were both late!  We asked my mom if she would come up on the Saturday before Ruthie's due date (she was due Feb. 20th), so that she would be here to watch Charlie when I went into labor. We were crossing our fingers that Ruthie would not come early - or at least not before my mom arrived in town on the 16th. Praise the Lord, that prayer was answered. But then my mom ended up being here for a whole WEEK and little girl still had not made her arrival on her own. My due date came and went. 

I had always heard that the doctors are usually pretty middle ground when it comes to "predicting" when their patients will go into labor. But this time around mine weren't. Because of how quickly I progressed from week 37 to week 38, going from 0 cm to 3 cm dilated, they were all telling me not to expect to make it to my due date. I really let that get into my head, yall. I should not have listened to their "predictions" as much as I did! Ruthie did not come early. She was late just like her brother. 

So at my 40 week appointment on her due date, the one I was not even expecting to have to go to, we had a decision to make. This was the predicament: My dad and sister would be arriving the next day and were planning to stay with my mom through the weekend before they would all have to head back home to Kentucky. It was such an emotional roller coaster to have been preparing to go into labor for basically two whole weeks leading up to my due date, and then to suddenly have to be highly considering being induced so that my family would get to meet her and be able to watch Charlie. 

It was a big call to make. I was not really thrilled at the thought of being induced since I had a natural labor previously. Now, my whole experience would be different then last time. I would have to check into the hospital before I was in labor, not be allowed to eat for hours on end, without any no clue as to how my body would respond to the pitocin. The more Samuel and I discussed it, the pros highly outweighed the cons when it came down to it. We felt like it was the best decision given the circumstance of having family in town and ready to help. It was going to be so relieving to know that they would be with our boy at home while we were in labor at the hospital. Now that didn't mean I didn't keep praying to go into labor on my own for the next two days. ;) But I knew God would be sovereign either way.

When my dad and sister got into town Thursday night, we ate a huge meal at Cracker Barrel, and went home eagerly anticipating my induction the next morning.

I N D U C T I O N   D A Y was finally here! I was supposed to be at the hospital at 8 am on Friday morning, unless they called to say otherwise. Around 6:45 am I got a phone call from the hospital saying they were currently having several deliveries and they would let me know in about 2 hours if they were ready for me then. I was a little bummed, but at least I would get to have breakfast with Charlie and the family one more time. Less than two hours later, though, the hospital called back to say they were ready for us! We were so surprised to get an earlier call than expected. We scrambled to finish packing, I kissed my big boy goodbye, and on to meet our girl we went. 

We got to the hospital at 10 am. When they checked to see my dilation at the hospital, they actually could not tell! Weirdly enough, I had apparently been having lots of braxton hicks without realizing which had caused my cervix to move behind her head, so they weren't going to be able to check how far along I was until I was further in labor. As of 38 weeks, I was 3 cm and 80% effaced so that was good enough knowledge for my doctor to not need additional medication to the pitocin. By 11:30 am they had started the pitocin!

Around 1 or 2 in the afternoon I finally started to feel some little tiny contractions. They were really manageable at this point. I spent a lot of time bouncing on the exercise ball, romantically walking the hallway in my hospital attire with my sweet husband (ha), and generally staying on my feet so that my labor would keep progressing. The weirdest hiccup of the day was that my IV was giving me some trouble. It had to be redone by an IV specialist (thanks to my teeny tiny veins) and I actually had to be off the pitocin for about an hour while they were adjusting my new IV. I was hoping that this little break wouldn't set my labor back too much, and thankfully it didn't seem to.

By about 5 pm things were really kicking up a notch. I was 6 cm dilated and having regular, strong contractions. At 6 pm I was ready for my epidural. Ahh, the epidural...the blessed, long awaited for epidural. I loved my epidural when I had Charlie. It was perfect. Changed me into a completely different woman. Stoped my shaking from the labor. Gave me a chance to close my eyes for a bit before pushing. 

But not this one, yall. 

This one was not 100% effective and I was B U M M E D. There was an area on the front of my right leg and right side of my lower back where it did not work at all. I still had to breathe through most of my contractions. All you people who do labor without the epidural, I tip my hat to you even more now!

At 9:30 pm labor was going strong. The nurse popped in to say that she would be back around 10 pm to check my dilation again, but to let her know if anything changed. It was 9:50 pm and I started to really feel pressure, so I told the nurse she had better come in now. And, thankfully, we were finally at 10 cm and ready to start pushing!

This is where her birth story turns rapid speed. The nurse wanted me to give her a good practice push before she called the doctor in. So, I took a deep breath, gave a good push, and about halfway through it the nurse said, "Okay, stop!" She hurried over to the phone and told the doctor he needed to get there now- this baby was ready to get  o u t . 

After less than 10 minutes of pushing, Ruth Caroline made her way into the world at 10:10 pm. I remember one of the nurses during delivery saying, "Oh this baby is going to just deliver herself!" It was so quick. She came out screaming mad and shocked Samuel and I with her head full of dark brown hair!

We finally got to do kangaroo care like every new momma looks forward to right after her delivery. It was such a relief to get to hold her, healthy and screaming loud, so quickly. It was a 12 hour day from check in to delivery and I was so thankful she was finally here in my arms.  

Ruth Caroline James

February 22, 2019

7 lbs 6 oz

20 inches long

As much as I would have hoped to go into labor on my own again, I am really glad we decided to induce. A burden was lifted from us about making sure family was here when she arrived. The first half of the day started off kinda slow, but once true labor started things went pretty quickly. I had heard that pitocin labor pains were "worse" than natural contractions, but I don't know if I would agree with that. I think they are both pretty mean LOL. But come on, when the result is that precious little squishy face up there landing in your arms? It's worth it. So worth it. 

We love you, little Ruthie. Thank you, Jesus, for her life.

Emily

BOOKS I READ IN 2018

I'm sharing the books I read in 2018 with you today! For the first time in a VERY long time, it was a fairly consistent reading year for me. I don't know if I will ever be one of the people who reads 30-40 books in a year (just thinking about that gives me the hives. How can you even remember it all?). Prior to this year I had not really read consistently since my high school days. Entering college and then motherhood just pushed reading for pleasure to the side for quite a few years. 

Back in late 2016, I had a tiny baby and a strong itch to read something amazing. So I asked my wonderful, book-loving husband to pick something out for me that would hopefully jumpstart my reading life again. He did and that's where this list starts off today. Wait, wasn't that 2016, you say? Yes. This first book took me OVER a year to finish. But that one book that took foreeeever to finish really kicked me back into reading mode. So here we are now at the start of 2019 and I have an actual list of books I finished last year and I'm feeling quite excited to share them with you. 

As a side note -- if you are like me and sometimes struggle to find the motivation to read regularly, making a completed book list as I went was a HUGE encouragement to me throughout the year. It was a visual reminder of Yes!! You CAN finish books, Emily!! I thought I would just mention this little tip as 2019 begins with (hopefully) another year of reading ahead. (I say hopefully because there will be a newborn added into the picture in February this year, so I will hold my plans a little loosely.😉)

Books of 2018:

February 

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

I started this book when Charlie was an tiny infant.....and finished it when my son was 1.5 years old. Probably not the best season of life to try and finish a new book, but it DID get finished eventually. Samuel picked this first book of the year to get me back into the swing of reading, and he picked a good one. McCarthy's style of storytelling really pulled me in because I haven't read anything quite like it before. It's totally unique. The Road is not the most action packed story, but their story of togetherness, loss, survival, and determination completely force you to keep reading until the end. I really enjoy it a lot, and I'm so glad I kept working at it.

March
All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
I didn't want this book to end, you guys. It was so beautiful and descriptive. It also may have started an obsession with reading WWII historical fiction this year which I neverrr would have expected. One of the main characters is a young girl who is blind, dealing with the effects of the war. Her blindness creates such an interesting aspect to the novel because the author tells such a strong story through all of the senses. I loved this book and have thought about it a lot since finishing it.





April
The Gospel Comes with a House Key by Rosaria Butterfield 
This was the first Rosaria Butterfield book I had read and, man, can she write. I was so interested to read how she and her family show hospitality in their community and challenged to find ways that I can do the same.









Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling on Audiobook (finished in July)
Harry Potter will be read over and over and over in my life, I do believe. I will read it repeatedly for myself and hope to read it to my children one day. It's just always a good idea. Now, The Deathly Hallows was the only HP book that I had only read through once so I decided to change that this year! I listened to this on walks with Charlie and on many of our road trips to Kentucky and back. Loved every minute of it.





May
The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
I loved this book SO MUCH. It was by far my favorite fiction book I read all year. And I'll be the first to admit that I cried multiple times reading this one. This was the second of three WWII historical fiction book I read last year. It's a story of women in wartime, finding and losing those they love, and doing everything they can to survive the Nazi's taking over their home.









June
The Alice Network by Kate Quinn
And for my third WWII book, I kept seeing people talk about this one for months. One night we were out for a walk as a family and we came across a little free library in someone's front yard and wouldn't you know this little book that I had been wanting to read was inside! I was delighted to borrow it and bring it home. It's the story of a pregnant girl who runs away trying to find her long lost cousin who ends up  uncovering the life of a war hero. It was a fun, quick read.





August
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones 
I wanted to really like this book. But I just didn't. It was sad from the very beginning. It just carried a broken tone through it all, especially about the role of marriage and promise in today's society. I did enjoy the side stories about their family, career, and race, but the marriage depicted in this novel just left me heartbroken and aching for a happier story. Didn't love this book.








September
The Woman in the Window by A. J. Finn
If you like a good thriller, you will enjoy this one! I used to read thriller a lot more before becoming a mom and just loved it. Now....let's just say I was a little nervous to read this one, totally expecting to be such a scaredy chicken. I can't handle scary like I used to, yall! But it was way more suspenseful and just slightly scary so that it was the right amount of thriller for me. I didn't really love the final ending/resolution, but it does have some pretty great and surprising twists and turns.




October
Little Bee by Chris Cleave
Wow. This story was pretty amazing. This story gives a fictional insight, loosely based on real events, to the life of refugees living in America. However, it was another book with a questionable line of decisions made by married couples (I feel like has been a theme in the books I've read this year, unfortunately). I would love to know the main character, Little Bee, in real life. Her personality and perspective were so gripping and felt so real. I would definitely recommend this book.






December 
Educated by Tara Westover
This was SUCH. a. great. book. After almost every chapter I found myself thinking, "Did that really happen?!" And yes, yes it did. This memoir was so unreal at times I could not put it down. Her retelling of the ridiculous injuries she and her family suffered alone are enough for me to want to read this again. Pretty unbelievable things happened in this family of Mormons who believe they are preparing for the end times at any moment. Tara's life story is one of shelter and "faith" on a secluded mountain and her struggle and fight to succeed when she enters the rest of the world as an older teenager. Highly, highly recommend.




Overall I was really happy to have finished all of these books at the end of the day, with really only one exception that I didn't love.

I think I will make reading one book a month my goal for 2019. So y'all keep me accountable on that. Here's to another year of reading!

Emily